Notes on Siddhartha

I picked up Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse at a time when I was trying to ask myself a difficult question: what kind of life do I really want to lead?

It was an interesting read, leaning towards spirituality. I was intrigued at first because Siddhartha and Gotama are different characters in the book, but by the end, you start making sense of it.

What stood out for me was how Siddhartha flows with life. He starts off as a Samana, then decides to deeply immerse himself in samsara (the worldly cycle of desire, pleasure, ambition, and attachment) and later chooses to quit everything again. When he meets Gotama and decides not to follow him, it is a conscious call. He tells Gotama that until he knows something for himself, he will not be able to follow it. This was one of the most relatable parts for me. I find it really difficult to blindly follow anyone.

The last chapter is the densest. It captures the essence of his entire journey. Another key takeaway for me was to not stress too much about life. Things will happen the way they are supposed to. Life goes on. Maybe the point is not to stop feeling, but to stop being completely carried away by every feeling. Be fully in the moment, learn from the people and teachers around you, and observe. There is just so much to grasp when you are not trapped in some other world inside your head.

Some lines that stuck with me:

Therefore it seems to me that everything that exists is good — death as well as life, sin as well as holiness, wisdom as well as folly. Everything is necessary, everything needs only my agreement, my assent, my loving understanding; then all is well with me and nothing can harm me.

Knowledge can be communicated, but not wisdom. The wisdom which a wise man tries to communicate always sounds foolish.

When Siddhartha was working with Kamaswami, there was initially one big difference in how they approached business. Kamaswami did it with great passion, but Siddhartha regarded it all as a game, the rules of which he tried to learn well, but which did not stir his heart.

Hesse also talks about how Siddhartha always seemed to be playing at business. It never made much impression on him, never mastered him, and he never feared failure or worried about loss. I would really like to be able to do business like this: without fear, treating it like a game. Because life itself is a game full of ups and downs, and maybe it is not meant to be taken too seriously.

I wonder what it would mean to bring this mindset into modern work. To care enough to play well, but not so much that the game consumes you.

Another thing that stood out was Siddhartha's time with Kamala. She talks about how he can be extremely focused, like a stone thrown into water heading straight for its target.

He is drawn by his goal, for he does not allow anything to enter his mind which opposes his goal.

This is an amazing superpower. Most ordinary people have so many conflicting and counter-thoughts between planning and execution. Maybe Siddhartha had this clarity because of deep meditation and because he was in full alignment with his thoughts and actions. His conscious and subconscious mind seemed fully resolved. This is something worth exploring for everyone.

While I was reading this, I also had a fleeting thought about the movie Wake Up Sid. Did the writers choose the name Sid on purpose? It is, in a way, a finding-yourself story set in modern times.

Instead of a king, Sid has parents with a well-established business. He also decides to leave his house. The trigger is more external than internal, but the story arc feels somewhat similar. He too meets his "Kamala", someone who helps him learn a lot about himself. And when he completes one full arc of growth, he is in the same place but as a different man.

Moving back home and making up with his parents is a quintessential Indian happy ending, but I think the story has way too many overlaps to ignore. Then again, maybe this is true for most finding-yourself stories.

Maybe that is why Siddhartha stayed with me: not because it gives answers, but because it respects the need to find them for oneself.